


Cupid Shoots To Kill

by robotfrom1984



Series: Cupid [1]
Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon Compliant, Cupid AU, Everyone is a gay disaster except for cupid who is an asexual disaster, Idiots in Love, M/M, a headcanon that got out of control, set around 2006
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotfrom1984/pseuds/robotfrom1984
Summary: In which Cupid messes up and makes Alex and Miles fall in love.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Series: Cupid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119272
Comments: 14
Kudos: 26





	Cupid Shoots To Kill

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there. English is not my first language so please let me know if I made any mistakes. Enjoy.

**2006**

Cupid swang his legs back and forth as he scanned the crowd in the bar one more time. _Humans_ , he thought, _always late even when their fate was waiting for them_. He had been sitting on the liquor shelf for fifteen minutes now waiting for tonight's lucky lad, some musician named Miles, to finally show up so he can fall in love with Lisa, who was sipping on a cocktail with her friends AND was here on time. _Smart human_ , he decided with a nod and checked the door again to see if Miles had arrived. Still nothing. 

Cupid wasn't a miserable sod usually. He loved his job and he understood that it's in the nature of mortals to take their limited time on this earth for granted, and therefore, waste it by being late to things they definitely shouldn't be late to, like job interviews or doctor appointments or meeting their soulmate.

A deep and unnecessarily loud bassline boomed through the speakers and Cupid cursed under his breath, shutting his eyes as if that would protect his ears from the cacophony. _How did humans have fun like this?_ Loud music was one of the mortal flaws he simply couldn't forgive. It made his job torture on nights like toni-

 _Miles_. 

Cupid felt his presence first and then spotted him holding the door for his mates to enter. Yes, finally! _At least he wasn't rude on top of being tardy._

He recognised some of the other guys as Miles' bandmates - _what was their band called, Miniature Fires?_ \- and some other guys, also musicians but from a different band. _Now he remembered those. Was it the Cold Chimps or the Freezing Chimps? Great blokes and great sound regardless. Very punk._

He sensed that he would be visiting some of Miles' friends soon as well, like that one guy who was now settling on the bar next to him, Alex from the chimp band or whatever. Alex would meet his soulmate soon and they'd have the same name. _How cute_. Cupid liked couples with matching names but had come to find that humans didn't share his excitement and even found it cheesy. _Another mortal flow that was hard to forgive._

Cupid reached behind his back with tingling fingers. The fun part was about to finally begin. He turned to his left, so that he was facing Miles, grabbed an arrow and adjusted it on his bow, bringing it close to his face to aim better. He had a great view of the whole pub from where he was sitting so this would be a piece of cake. He took a breath and released the arrow, which travelled a few feet before hitting its target right on the heart.

With a satisfied smile, he retrieved another arrow from his quiver but stopped briefly to watch the scene unfold. The guy from the Ice Baboons leaned close to Miles to shout something in his ear, as humans usually did in places like this, and then got out of his stool, heading towards the restrooms.

Lisa noticed and didn't waste any time taking Alex's place next to Miles and striking a toothy smile at him. The few seconds when only one of the humans had been hit were thrilling to watch and so he took a moment to simply enjoy the scene that was unfolding. The two humans were talking now, leaning towards each other and Cupid cursed the loud music once again for not allowing him to hear the conversation.

Lisa laughed at something Miles said and predictably touched his arm as Cupid picked up his bow again and placed the arrow on it. He closed one eye and aimed, pleased at the clear shot he had of Lisa. He stretched the string with one, practiced motion of his arm and released.

Everything afterwards happened in slow motion as Cupid watched in terror how Lisa leaned too much towards Miles, wobbled on her stool and fell with a thud just a millisecond too soon, allowing the arrow to keep travelling and hit a denim-clad leg right behind her. _Oh no._ Cupid hesitantly lifted his eyes to find out that the owner of the leg was, in fact, not a random patron but Miles' friend, Alex who had returned from the loo too soon for his own good. _OH NO_.

Cupid buried his head in his rosy hands, trying to process how royally he'd fucked up. There was nothing he could do now to fix it. He'd learned that the hard way when he'd first been chosen to be the God of Love, a couple of millenniums ago. If he tried to shoot more arrows now, he'd just make things worse for all the humans involved.

He finally gathered the courage to peak through his fingers. The two boys were helping a very red-faced Lisa get up and she thanked them before grabbing her drink and her bruised ego and walking back to her friends. 

And then it happened. 

Alex and Miles looked at each other for the first time. Sure, it was technically not the first-first time but Cupid strongly believed that one only sees another truly and completely when they are in love with them. Love-struck smiles crept on both their faces as they maintened eye-contact and _Gosh, how can everyone else be so painfully unaware of the miracle that's happening right now?_

Alex and Miles returned to the bar, now a bit further away from their other friends and resumed their chat like their whole world hadn't just turned upside down. If you were paying attention though -and Cupid definitely was- you'd notice how Alex didn't stop smiling at all or how Miles tried extra hard to make Alex laugh, speaking with animated gestures and leaning closer towards him than necessary.

As much as Cupid wanted to sit and watch, he knew he had to get going. He was already late to his next stop ( _the pesky human habits were starting to rub off on him_ ) and there was nothing left to do here at any rate. While it stung him that he made such a mistake, he had faith in these two.

He knew from the other few times that he'd messed up like this that their love would hurt, more so than it usually does, and that they'd have to overcome a lot of obstacles, simply because they weren't meant to be together. The universe had completely different plans and they'd have to pay a heavy price for going against them. 

He hesitantly got up from his spot on the liquor shelf and gave Alex and Miles one last look. They were still in their own little world, all smiles and twinkling eyes, unaware of the fact that their boat was slowly sinking before it had even sailed. It was now up to them, for better or for worse, to keep it afloat.

 _He would return to check up on them_ , Cupid decided then and flew out of the cracked window heading to Moscow and then to Ivoir and then to a million other places. Being the God of Love was a full-time job and he couldn't waste any more time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I'm thinking of turning this into a series so I'd love to know if anyone's interested in seeing more of this story. If you want to talk more, my tumblr is @robotfrom-1984. Cheers.


End file.
